It’s been a long while… so much has happened since the last time I have posted any writings. So much healing, direction, and big life things. During a ministry class about a year and a half ago, we were reading a book all about silence and solitude, and I felt God nudging me to that. And so I obeyed.
But the last few months, the fire to speak and write has come back. It’s always vulnerable to share your heart to people. But my heart is the Lord’s and He is calling me to it. So here we are. A peak into my heart and what God has done in my life is yours.
Something that has been weighing on me lately is what I’ve experienced with bold obedience, submission to the Lord, allowing him to prune me and grow me, discerning God’s voice and direction, and truly following him. What does that look like? How do you know the path is from the Lord? How on Earth did I get here?
The last 5-7 years have been a refining fire for me and our family. God has completely changed who I am and who I desire to be. Year after year, we’ve experience very abrupt encounters with the Lord, changing the course of our lives dramatically. It sparked with a radical encounter with God on an airplane through a stranger in 2018. Then, I left my corporate career in 2021, that I had planned on working for until retirement. I was a ladder climbing “boss babe”. I wanted to keep getting promotion after promotion and was motivated by my salary, bonuses, promotions, and my 401k balance. I was continuing my education to obtain a piece-of-paper degree, purely for more promotions and more money.
Suddenly, God intervened. He opened doors wide open, that only made sense He was behind. That first big leap was so terrifying. My job held the health insurance for our family and the stable checks, my husband always made good money too but his over time wasn’t consistent and winters slowed down. It was just scary and unknown, right? I can say since that leap, God has provided more abundantly than we could have dreamed up.
I joined a little Christian non-profit, left corporate America, and began a new journey. Working with that group of godly women was so impactful. I was surrounded by women each day who loved God and loved me so purely. This was deep in the throws of my mom’s cancer battle, so looking back to see God’s hand in who He surrounded me with is so special. He knows so much more of what we need than we can plan up. A few months into working at Alternatives (a pregnancy care center that widely supported unplanned pregnancies), I found myself pregnant with our third child, not planned by us but planned by the Lord. The timing didn’t make sense, we weren’t trying at any rate, but blessed again with a sweet babe.
Sweet Truett came on October 1, 2022, on our 6th wedding anniversary. He was such a gift and a source of joy. Especially during the last several months of my mom’s life and the months following her passing. I had planned on continuing work at Alternatives after Truett was born, but abruptly again, I felt God calling me somewhere new. In January of 2023, I made the tough decision to step down from my work at Alternatives and stay home full time with the kids. Something that really hadn’t ever been a goal or dream of mine, but I surrendered to it. Little did I know, a few weeks later my mom’s rapid decline began, resulting in her death on March 31.
The devastation that came after, I couldn’t prepare for. That kind of loss… I don’t have words to type up. I was hanging onto the hem of His garment for dear life. Losing my mom at 29, navigating motherhood, unpacking the suffering I witnessed and she endured, trying to survive each day caring for our kids. It was truly too much to bear. God was with me so tangibly through it all. I’ve never felt more close to Jesus than in those low moments of grief and depression.
Then came the prayer, the healing, the ministry school, the 4th baby, the switching to homeschool, and launching our excavation business full time… which is all too much for this post I’ve already written too much on – stay tuned! We have allowed God to truly be the orchestrator of our life, and we continue to be blown away.
If you’re in the refining fire… find the hem of His garment, and hang on. Take time for silence and solitude. Learn to discern God’s voice. Flood your mind with scripture. Be ready and quick to obey. When I look back on it all, I can say that I was actively seeking Jesus, His truth and His direction, so when the doors opened, I had eyes to see and a heart ready to leap.
“Not to us, O Lord, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!”
Psalm 115:1 ESV
With Love,
Lex
Bold Believers 
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